Azerothian Press (AP)
Dateline: 24 February 2013
World renown cracker jack reporter, Sicily Sweetcheeks reporting here!
Shenanigans are afoot in the capital of the Alliance! Recently several Horde raiding parties have run roughshod over the denizens of Stormwind! At first, many believed that dark magics were involved...because lets face it: with the Gnomish 501st lending its might to the defense of Stormwind, Sargeras himself would think twice before attacking the city! But alas, Stormwind's defenses have been crumbling at the mere sight of an Orc!
Thoroughly perplexed, I investigated the situation. It took one stroll through the city.
Seriously whomever is running the knitting club known as the Stormwind Guard needs to be shot. Like right now.
That's right citizens of Stormwind. We're knee deep in a war with the Horde...and your guards are carrying lanterns. IN BROAD DAYLIGHT.
The cunning ferocity of city leadership knows no bounds.